The first 20 days at home as a mommy

What crazy ride motherhood is? It is like a roller coaster. Between the diaper changing, the feeding, pumping, doctor appointments, recovering myself and many visits I have managed to stay somewhat sane.

Addison had her first doctor appointment on January 15th. She had gained her weight back and weigh 7pounds 10 oz which put her in the 25th percentile. She had grown 3/4 of an inch which put her in the 75th percentile for height and her head measurement was 35-3. She is already very strong and holds her hold her head up for a good length of time. She has been doing this since the first day we brought her home. Dr. Tammy said she was looking great.

Then the next week she is not eating crying and sounds like she is choking every time she eats plus yucky diarrhea. Back to the doctor we go. She lost a lot of weight, looks like she might be lactose, so mom has to change her diet because I am breast feeding and we put her on a certain formula to settle her stomach and rid my system of all dairy. After a day and a half I have trouble getting Addison to latch on to my boob. It's a fight every feeding. And pumping is a mess as my milk has not really come in to start with due to her being in the NICU and the on again and off again feeding issues. She did get better and gained her weight back but then the diarrhea returns and she in not happy unless she is sitting straight up. Back to Dr. Tammy we go. Turns out she has reflux and maybe an issue with digesting my breast milk. If I could draw the picture out like Dr. Tammy did for me I would but as for trying to explain it I'm not going to. We leave again with an Rx and after 4 pharmacy visits and calling all over we finally find it at the pretty penny of 68 bucks. No one has the generic and it takes 2 days to get it. We couldn't wait.

Diaper changing as been so much fun, when you have a sick little girl, ha. She just poops and poops and shots some more. Dave and I both have ended up covered in her mess. She plots and plans her attacks we just know it. I never had a strong stomach before her birth and thought that I would have issues doing the diaper thing but really Dave and I haven't had any trouble with getting sick. Now yelling for help because we don't have a clean hand to get yet another diaper out of the drawer is another thing. When she is sick we can go through 3 diapers in one changing. She can also pee like the best little boy. I'm thinking about getting one of those little wee wee tent things.

Dave and I have been doing well at working out a system so we both get rest and seem to be getting the hang of it. I watch her from the time he goes to bed till he gets off from work then he takes over. I was getting a bit blue and stress due to lack of sleep and he would have to remind me I can't do it all I have to take care of me. We also have learned that if we are getting really stressed we just hand the baby off to each other. One day it was like hot potato with Addison.

Dave is amazing with her. It is so much fun to watch the two of them. It also so amazing to sit back and see how we are evolving as a family and how Addison grows and learns. Being a parent is the most awesome adventure ever.

Dave and I have also had some deep talks about are hopes and wishes, how to better ourselves for Addison. If we hadn't lost the last baby would she be like Addison or would she/he have been different. Are we good parents? Do I have the baby blues (I had a few days where all I did was cry)? How much we love each other! I was in tears the other night because I just wanted to go to bed with Dave. He reassured me that in a few months we could get back to going to bed together and I said I know but I just want you to hold me. Well later that night when I had got Addison to sleep and crawled into bed Dave woke up a bit. He rolled over towards me and just held me. It meant so much because I knew it was late and he had to get up early. The other night he reached for my hand and just held it. I love that we can still do small things for us too. He even left work early one day when I couldn't get Addison’s reflux under control and was so tired I couldn't focus and was going a bit crazy.



I know we can do this parent thing mostly because we care so much about each other!