Week 20 - Half Way

I'm half way there! Half way till I get to hold my baby girl in my arms, count her toes, fingers, and look at her little face! Yeah!! Wait that means that I'm half way there till I'm a mom. Till some little helpless baby is going to be depending on me more then ever to take care of her. Oh no, only 4 1/2 months or less till we have to have the Nursery ready! Only 16 years till I have to worry about her dating. OMG Dave and I are not ready, he's worried about his job and the pay cut he just got and the possible layoffs to come. I'm worried about all the bills we been incurring and to come. My abilty to be a good mom. All this is what kepted me up for about 5 hours out of the 7 I had to sleep. The next day at work was a little hard to say the least. I ended up texting Dave in the middle of the Day asking him if we could talk when I got home. I have felt like the stress of everyday life and the baby had us both a little depressed. I felt that if we both talked it out we could grab stress by the balls and get things moving the way we want. We'll I bring up my worries and concerns to Dave ask him his and he just says he's tired and let's just let the house go, meaning stop making payments. I look at him, thinking are you fucking serious! Dave, knowing me sees my look and goes yes I'm serious. I say thank you for listening and hold back the tears. This is not were I was hoping to go with our talk. About 5 hours later with a lot of silnece in between our talk Dave and I crawl in to bed. I'm now wondering if there is any hope at cheering Dave up. After about 10 min of both of stareing at the ceiling in the dark Dave says, I'm glad you wanted to talk and I think your right on somethings and I'm sorry for how I reacted. My question about hope was just answered. I kissed him goodnite and told him well be fine it just takes work. I apoligezed again for my lack of effort of mangeing the house and preparing meals and thanked him for everything he has done. He really is a wonderful husband and will make a wonderful dad.

Speaking of sweet things Dave went and helped me pick out a Martinity swim suit and some really cute tops.

Any who to celebrate our half way mark I went to the spa and got a peddie. The best part about it was that you get to use the spa all day if you have a service so I went swimming, had a chair massage ate fruit, drank juice and swam some more. I had the whole pool to myself. It was perfect and relaxing.

On Friday Dave left to go on a weekend trip with his Dad to scout antelope. As he was leaving he gave me a kiss said I love you and put his hand on my belly and said take care of my little girl! It was so cute. Dave doesn't really touch my belly at all. I think it scares the crap out of him that there is a living person in me. So for him to do this meant so much to me.

Now that I had Dave out of the house I could get down to some really work. I started my taking all that I could from our office down to the basement. I was careful not to lift anything over 20 pounds. Once I had done that I hung some of the baby clothes I have recieved in the closet and arrange all the diapers and samples on the shelf. I got very excited by doing this little thing. I can't wait to see Dave's face when I show him the office is now ready to deseign the nursey as he wants! He really has some great ideas. I also got the carpets cleaned, took clothes to the Salavtion Army, met with friends and a few other errands. I even washed some of our curtins. I feel like I'm getting back on top of things as I had promised Dave I would do.